In addition to a love of dandelions and grey days, another odd fact about me is that I really like it when the power goes off. The sudden shift to quietude is remarkable and one that I find deeply settling. On Thursday night, we received a good twelve inches of heavy wet snow that clung to the trees, causing many to break and take down power lines.
We awoke to a stillness and quiet enhanced by a snow-covered world absorbing all sound, early enough before people awoke and turned on their generators and before the plows cleared the roads for traffic. As we go through our days, we tune out so many noises so as to make them inaudible. Likely this is a necessary task of our regulatory system so we can function, but all that underlying noise and perhaps the unconscious effort it takes to tune that noise out takes a toll on me. When the power suddenly goes out, I can feel my whole body sigh in relief.
As I did my daily stretching in front of the wood stove, I realized though that even without the constant hum of appliances and Rick’s incessant fan, there are still noises! I forget that a wood stove makes a hushed sound as air rushes through to keep the fire burning so that the stove can turn out its glorious radiant heat. At 6am, we scratched our heads in wonder about our neighbors, thinking a gun had gone off, but as we listened throughout the morning, we realized that it had likely been one of many branches cracking and breaking under the weight of wet snow.
Being powerless also presents an opportunity to break from routine, as so many activities are no longer available, such as making phone calls, checking email, watching Netflix, or taking a shower. In the absence of our usual routines, what do I do? Will I keep busy and find powerless activities to do? Or will I take the opportunity to, for once in my life, do nothing? Turns out, it’s a bit of both. The dogs get extra pets as I spend time snuggling and napping, but I also did some computer work that didn’t require internet (grad school write-ups), and prepped the raw ingredients for kimchi to be mixed together the next day.
As I sit here typing though, I am well aware that I sit and type from a place of privilege, advantage, and luck that allows me to relish these breaks from regular life. Rick and I are in good health and not reliant on machines and/or communication with the outside world to keep us in health. We don’t have children running around demanding that life be the same as when the power is on (or disrupting that golden quiescence). Instead, we can lazily wake up to the day and tackle any challenges as we are ready, or not. We have been able to purchase and maintain generators to ensure that we can keep our freezers running during a power outage, or just to run when we feel like having some lights around. We don’t have to rush off to a job in the absence of lights, showers, or a warm meal.
And so this reminds me of my position during this time of coronavirus too. My life is different, but not horrible. In fact, there are definite upsides! I still have a job that I can do safely from home and I am learning new skills that will transfer back to and enhance my in-person teaching. I don’t have to commute and instead have three whole hours/day of my life back during which I can fill with self-care activities like running, stretching, meditating, snuggling with dogs, and puttering in my garden.
But part of our comfort during this time of powerlessness and coronavirus is also likely a carry-over from boat days, when all power needed to be generated, electricity was not to be wasted, and we were generally prepared for most eventualities. In land life, this means that we have copious flashlights, headlamps, and lanterns to use, multiple generators in case one fails, and a cooking stove that does not rely on electricity to run. If we suspect that a power outage is imminent, we also prepare, like filling containers of water and most importantly, grinding the coffee for the next day so as not to be caught first thing in the morning, scrambling to turn on that generator pre-coffee. So to for the coronavirus, we prepared, making sure we had adequate supplies and our systems were ready to run without help from the outside world for a while.
I’ve argued with people that my good fortune comes from luck. Rick and I are lucky to not have experienced a debilitating accident or disease. I am lucky to work for a school district with a teacher’s union that has always prioritized excellent health care coverage. I am lucky to work for a boss that welcomes and appreciates my ideas and enthusiasm. We are even lucky to have gotten such a good dog in Luka! The day before we were to get a puppy from a supposedly reputable breeder, she changed her mind and refused to communicate with us. Rick found another breeder from whom we got Luka, who was exceptionally well-socialized. Months later, we heard that the first breeder’s puppies were not well-socialized and more than a handful.
People are quick to point out all the hard work and effort Rick and I have put into having a good life and it is true that we do put a lot of time and effort into living the life we want. It is also true that luck favors the prepared mind. And so I’ll compromise. It’s both. Both luck and effort, and probably some other things I haven't thought of. No need to continue splitting the world into dualistic divisions.
Now you see what happens when the power goes out. I sit and write, and write, and write. This post is not for the Twitter and Instagram world and I hope you made it through all right. The power is back, along with the hum of modern life, and I am grateful for this too. Good Night!
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